How To Pull Off the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: Create A Website That’s Legend-(Wait For It)-Dary

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn

The purpose of this article is to show people how to pull off the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, or if you’re a personal brander, how to go about building your very own WordPress website. For those of you who watch ‘How I Met Your Mother’ you have undoubtedly seen ‘The Playbook’ episode and the meaning of this title needs no explanation- but for those of you who don’t watch the show… please allow me to explain.

What is the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is a fake name used by Barny Stinson (Neal Patrick Harris) to pick up women at bars.  Basically, he picked a very unique name so that he can create content on the Internet and have it show up when someone Googles his name.

Now that you know what the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is, let’s get into the purpose of this article: to teach you how to buy your own domain name, get set up with hosting, and then install the WordPress content management system (CMS) onto your server.  You can use this guide for whatever purposes you want: but it’s also a good way to learn how to set up a website 🙂

Step 1: Choose Your Name

For those of you who are using your real information you’re obviously going to use your actual name, for those of you who aren’t you need to pick a name.  Use this random name generator to help get your juices flowing. Keep in mind your name needs to be:

  • Catchy and compelling enough for someone to remember
  • Simple to spell (the person needs to be able to search for it without making a mistake)
  • Unique enough so there isn’t much competition in search engines. You want to show up first

For me, I chose the name Titus Goodwater.  It’s strong, yet refined; bold, yet humble; and there’s no information on Google about it.

Step 2: Buy Your Domain Name

This is probably the easiest step, all that you have to do is pick a domain registrar (such as GoDaddy, Network Solutions, Register.com, etc.) and type in your domain name.  Right now there are a few promotions for domain names for around $5/year but even when there’s no special, domain names only cost around $12/year.

  • Pick a registrar (Like Godaddy.com) and type in your domain
  • Register your domain name
  • Important: Don’t leave your account, you’ll need to access it later if you want to keep the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn going.

Step 3: Get Hosting

So you have your domain name, but you have no place to store your information- that’s where hosting comes in (find out more about hosting).

  • If you are pulling a Lorenzo Von Matterhorn for fun, just go to Google and type in “cheap web hosting” or even “free web hosting” but just remember, you get what you pay for.  A lot of the places where you can get free hosting might put ads onto your page or things like that, which is not really a problem is you have a fake brand
  • If you are building a website and brand around your actual name, then you should definitely spend some money and get decent hosting for your site- this can be done for $12-$25 per year. It will just ensure you can keep your site free of anything you don’t’ want (ads, etc)

Set your Nameserver: When you sign up for hosting, you’ll be given what is called a nameserver (If you want to know more about what they are then go ahead and click the link, otherwise just know that they basically tell your domain name registrar where your site is being hosted).  Simply go into your account with your domain name registrar and look through your account for a place where you can change your nameservers.  Then you just have to copy/paste them from your hosting company and you’re good to go!

Step 4: Create Your Database

MySQL Database WizardBefore you can finish your quest to perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn you’re going to need to create a database on your hosting site.  Basically, a database is just a way to store information remotely so that your website can remember the posts, pages, plugins, and other content that you publish to your WordPress site.  Once you’re logged into your hosting, you’re going to:

  • Go to the control panel (sometimes referred to as a C-panel)
  • Find where it says MySQL Database Wizard, MySQL Database, or some variation of the two (see the picture to the left for an example of what this might look like).
  • Enter your Info: In this screen you’re going to be prompted to enter information to create a database including the name, username, and password for your database- remember this information because you’re going to need it in the next step.  Also, note if it says what your server is on this screen.  If it doesn’t mention where your database is stored then it is most likely going to be localhost, if it does mention where it is stored then you’re going to need to keep that information handy as well.  Once you have the database set up, continue on to step 5.

Step 5: Install WordPress

This is what you’ve been waiting for, actually getting the web site setup!

  • First things first, you need to go to WordPress.org to download the WordPress CMS, go ahead and do that.
  • Once you have it unzipped you’re going to need to get some sort of FTP client.  My favorite is Cyberduck but there are a number of them out there for you to use.
  • Once you have your FTP client downloaded and open, open up a new connection and enter your FTP URL (this is usually simply “ftp.YOUR-URL.com” but it is sometimes different, check your hosting account for more details) username, and password.
  • Once you have a connection to hosting double click inside of your “public_HTML” folder and delete any files that might be there.  Then you’ll need to open up the WordPress folder you just downloaded, highlight everything in the folder, and then drag it over to the “public_HTML” folder in your FTP client (this is the folder that is displayed when someone visits your site).  Your FTP client should say that it is putting these files onto your server and it should take roughly 10 minutes for it to upload completely.

**If you’re having trouble with these directions take a minute and read through WordPress’ installation instructions, they’re very comprehensive and helpful.

  • Once all of the WordPress files are on your server you’re going to want to open up your web browser and go to your website (for me it’s just titusgoodwater.com).  A screen should appear asking you to run the WordPress install, click this button and then input the database information that you wrote down from the end of step 4.  If you experience an error it’s most likely because you have the wrong server location (meaning it’s not localhost)- go back to your hosting account and see if you can find where it says the server location, otherwise you might need to contact someone from the hosting provider to get this information.
  • Once you’re done installing WordPress through the browser, that’s just about it!  You need to title your website (you should title it your name) and then fill out some other basic info but you now have your own website all set up: get ready to perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!

WordPress is pretty simple to use but you can always learn a little more about it by going through their getting started guide.  Congratulations, you now have your own website for only $5 if you used free hosting and got the cheapest domain name registrar!

But Wait, There’s More! Show up at the top!

So you can’t just create a website and expect Google to rank it automatically, there’s a little more work that has to be done.  The first key is to create relevant content.  You can do this by writing a bio about yourself, or by posting other content that you’ve written up on your site as well (just remember to change the actual content, Google doesn’t like to see repeated content).  Have a look at this beginner’s guide to SEO for some basic ways that you can make sure your website ranks high on Google.

One last thing that I like to do is use Google Webmaster tools on my sites.  This is a pretty simple and effective way for getting your site indexed and ranked by Google.

You’ve done it!  If you followed my instructions you are now the proud owner of your very own website.  You can use this site in whatever way you like: creating fake content to pick up girls like Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, using real content to help you get a job, or just using this as an experiment to learn how to create a website.  If you have any questions please feel free to send me an email at [email protected] and I’ll see if I can help.  And as always, if there’s anything that we might have left out, please let me know in the comment section below.